Crisis of thirty something... the expectation of the unexpected.

From the outside my life looks pretty good. I am on my early thirty I Have fantastic friends and a good job. I'm happily cohabiting with two wonderful friends in a rented modern flat in London. Freedom, few responsibilities and a good income.

So why do I feel that something is not right?

Welcome to the 30 something crisis-the feeling that just a decade into a growing up, you are running out of time, and it's not about turning 30.

I had big party, going out with my mates chasing fun. For as long I can remember, I've always thought that in my thirties I'd have enough money,life, work experience to know what i want and how to get it right? Wrong and I'm not the only one who feels this way. There is a new emerging crisis in the early thirties. These have become the years of "settling down" for the majority of us. So it's a decade when you are faced with that challenge and can see how easily can go wrong it's not about looking back filled with longing or regret,rather it's all about the future. The reason for the crisis of thirties, is our unrealistic expectations; not helped by constant comparisons with other people's perfect lives on social media. We're encouraged to have dreams but we forget that dream are hard to achieve. Very few of us will have a relationship that is settled sexual and supportive all the time. Very few of us will achieve in the way we imagined at seven,17,or even 27. Our mad dreams cast a shadow and tell us that our real lives aren't good enough. And that's dangerous because it means we're always dissatisfied. It's a moment when many working women seek change, something we than find is incompatible with the dreaded "fertility timeline. After all decisions you make in your thirties can set the course for the rest of your life: where to marry, how to find that person, whether to have children, what your next career step is even having one or more of the above things doesn't necessarily relieve the pressure. And if you don't follow that well trodden path, you can feel like an outsider. Maya,30 says"My friends are doing the thing I would like to do - buying a house, getting married , having babies. Still not having found The One I feel deprived of those option." Matters are further complicated by the conflicting

advice women are bombarded with. Different studies have set the perfect age to conceive as 19,25,26,29,30,32.and34.

In our twenties, we put off adulthood for as long as possible,

but now that extended adolescence has spectacularly collided with the traditional "settling down model", boy does it hurt. The result is that we worry about not knowing what we want. Or we worry that we don't want the things we're supposed to want. And while we beating our self up for all this wanting and not wanting, we're also kicking ourself over missed opportunities. All this might saund terribly self-pitying, but really isn't our fault. Think about it: just at moment we' 80s babies entered the job market, recession hit. Salary were slashed. House prices and rent rocketed. According to new research by the Institute for Fiscal studies, Brits in their thirties are financially worse off than any generation since World War II. Our current average wealth is 27,000. Ten years

ego?It was 53,000. That hasn't just had an impact to our pockets, it's hammared our self-worth too.

For me, than, the answer lies in unpiking those unrealistic expectations. Who says we have to achieve anything by a certain age ? Do I believe that ? Do I even want to do those things?

The only way to get trough life at any age, is to say to yourself: I'm good enough. I don't know what life is going to bring me, but i will deal with it and I will really enjoy it, because I'm great.